our 1 year anniversary was perfect.

It was a great one year...man, I love marriage! I promise I'm not that controlling of a person, but in this picture I do look like I'm telling Scott how to hold his "one." Anyways, that was actually on our one year anniversary. We had too many other things going on that day, so we celebrated a few days later. Back in February I bought a deal for a one night stay at the winery in Aviston, IL. It was awesome! A perfect one night getaway. They had small, individual cabins to stay in. Basically it was one big room. It had a huge jacuzzi in the middle of the room with a fireplace (yes we used it even though it was 90 degrees out). We ate dinner there first. It was super num. We got all-you-can-eat crab legs. At first we were kind of annoyed because we were both soooo hungry and it takes forever to crack it and get a good sized piece of crab. By the end of our first batch of crab, we were pros at cracking it perfectly to pull out a huge chunk of crab. We were too full to get more:( Dern! We totally didn't take advantage of the all-you-can-eat crab legs. Oh well. It also came with delicious green beans and mashed potatoes. We ate while overlooking a beautiful lake. That night we watched our wedding DVD my brother made us and both cried AGAIN! Yep, we cried when we watched it after our wedding and still a year later. Scott was really cute and buried his face in my arm because he didn't want me to know he was crying. I was happy he was crying happy tears, probably because he is so in lub with me! I mean, he better not have been crying sad tears...kidding, I know he wasn't. We both relived that amazing day of our lives and felt so blessed to be married to one another. Well, the next day we hung out ALL day in St. Louis. It was ree fun. We ate at our favorite restaurant, Olive Garden (thanks to Trina and Alan Schneider's anniversary gift card), we went to the zoo, Scott watched me get my hair did (what a patient man), we ate dinner in the loop and of course got ice cream, and we hung out with Zach and Marsha Friedrich...who just had gotten married a week ago:) It was a perfect celebration. I love that man, Scott Schneider.

an anxious heart.

Lately our lives have been crazy. Everything is up in the air right now. It probably has been one of the hardest times of my life. God promises there will be trials and tribulation, but we will grow through them. When you are actually faced with it, wow, it's a lot harder to deal with. I know all of the answers; I know how I'm supposed to react to them. I want to fully trust God, I want to have faith that He will provide, I want to live everyday without worrying, I want to trust that everything will be o.k. I'll admit, for about a month, my anxiety has taken over. There are days I'm fine and there are more days my stomach hurts thinking about everything.

Why do I think that if I try to plan before we have answers that it will make me feel better? It won't. Wednesday night I finally hit rock bottom with my anxiety. I realized I was completely unhealthy in my thinking. I talked to Scott all about it and we prayed together. The next morning I woke up with a peace that God promises, that I hadn't had before. I wrote down tons of scripture to fill my mind with truth. What a difference it makes to fill my mind with the Word rather than with my crappy thoughts. I am so thankful for a God who is sovereign. I am so thankful for a God who knows whats best for me. I am so thankful for a God who is faithful when I'm not. I am so thankful for a God who never changes. I am so thankful for a God who already has a plan for our lives! I am so thankful for a God who loves me unconditionally. I am so thankful for a God who provided me with a husband who IS and HAS BEEN completely trusting Christ through this hard time and who has encouraged me daily. I am so thankful for a gracious and merciful God.

I am finally thankful for our situation. I have already learned a lot through it. God's promises NEVER fail. Though we don't have a plan yet, He does:) What a beautiful Savior we serve. To God be the glory forever and ever!!

"The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always accuse, nor will he keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to His children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear Him. For He knows how we are formed, He remembers that we are dust." Psalm 103:8