from Greenville to STL

We've been living in St.Louis for a month this weekend! That's crazy! Time has already gone by super fast. We love it here so far. Me, being from here, it hasn't taken too much time to adjust to city life again, but my husband on the other hand....he came from Centralia, IL. Ever heard of it? Yeah, me neither until I met him:) It's a bigger town than Greenville, IL though! So we moved from Greenville, IL, population= 7,000 people to St. Louis, population= a lot more. I'm trying to get used to city life again. I think what I miss the most is being able to call up a girlfriend and tell them I'm going stop by in 2 minutes. No, here in the city, everyone is way busier and they don't live just 2 minutes away. You have to plan more. Ugh. We LOVE our apartment. Its in Richmond Heights, MO..nice and safe. Highway 40 is basically our backyard, but we are getting used to sirens, loud trucks, and people accidentally driving on the rumble strips. That first week I woke up a lot from loud noises, but now it's all good. Side note...I woke/wake Scott up a lot still from my crazy sleep talking and crazy actions I do in my sleep. I like to hear the stories every morning...I make me laugh.
We found a great church, we have great friends, we love our place, everything is convenient, but our jobs are just ok. Mine is getting a lot better, but it's just taking time to build the program. Scott is job searching again...yay!(said in a very sarcastic tone). God has still been so faithful and his provision never fails. Our awesome neighbor only made us pay him one small fee and now we have internet for almost free! Jered, my bro-in-law, gave us his bunny ears (antenna), so we get the 3 best channels (the Office, Modern Family, the news, Biggest Loser)! AND I have a sweet deal picking up kids from school everyday and taking them to sports practices or home to make some extra mula every week! Seriously, that all happened in one day. God is good all the time, for realz. Here are some pics of our new apt...it still basically looks this way except no white patches on the wall anymore:)

it's really happening!!

After a loooooonnnngggggg summer of prayer and patience (well patience at times), God has opened a door for us to move to good 'ol STL! We are moving next Friday! Oh my goodness, it seemed like it took forever to figure out where we were supposed to be and what God had for us, but now it's all happening so fast! We are so so so excited for our move for a lot of reasons: the biggest reason being we know this is where the Lord wants us right now. I will be an activities director at the Creve Couer Racquet Club. I can't wait to plan activities for kids and hang out with them all day:) Scott will be doing several different jobs at the club along with helping coach football at Westminster Christian Academy. I can't tell you how excited I am that he finally gets to coach and gain experience. We are praying something will lead to a teaching and coaching job for him. We love our new apartment too. God has taught us both so much this summer. Even though it was hard and seemed long, God had a plan all along and it's happening in His perfect timing. It has brought Scott and I closer together and closer to Christ. He is so good.

changes.

Well we moved into our new apartment in Greenville! We love it. Its all hardwood floor, 2 bed rooms, and the best parts (drum roll please): a dishwasher AND a laundry room!!! Never have I had either of those. No longer do I have to waste my Saturdays sitting at the laundry mat and no longer do I have to do dishes during my whole lunch break. PTL! Pics to come...

The title of our summer: patience and trust. Oh man, it has been super difficult. Scott has had a few great job opportunities that have presented themselves and every single one has fallen through. This has made me realize how selfish and greedy of a person I am. I know all the answers such as, everything will happen in God's perfect timing, He knows whats best for you, He's holding out for something great, He's teaching you to trust Him, etc. When life smacks you in the face for real and very tough times happen to you, the flesh gets in the way and Satan tries to reign over you. I think this is the most I have ever prayed in my life. That sounds ridiculous. We have cried out to God for clarity and direction, yet still have neither. We get the same wisdom: "you don't know the logistics behind what God is doing, but trust that He knows what's best and He has a plan for you." That is really hard to hear when we are ready for whatever or wherever the Lord wants us.

This morning I got up, turned on some Phil Whickham, and spent some time in prayer. I journaled for a long while and then decided to read the daily devotional I have: My Utmost for His Highest, by Oswald Chambers. This is when I realized I have been praying for an answer and have been becoming bitter toward God because He hasn't answered us the way we want Him to. Dwell on these words Chambers says:

First, he references Mt. 6:8, "Your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him."

Then why should we ask? The point of prayer is not to get the answers from God, but to have perfect and complete oneness with Him. If we pray only because we want answers, we will become irritated and angry with god. We receive an answer every time we pray, but it does not always come in the way we expect, and our spiritual irritation shows our refusal to identify ourselves truly with our Lord in prayer. We are not here to prove that God answers prayer, but to be living trophies of God's grace. Have you reached such a level of intimacy with God that the only thing that can account for your prayer life is that it has become one with the prayer life of Jesus Christ? Has our Lord exchanged your life with His vital life? If so, then "in that day" your will be so closely identified with Jesus that there will be no distinction. When prayer seems to be unanswered, beware of trying to place the blame on someone else. That is always a trap of Satan. When you seem to have no answer, there is always a reason--God uses these time to give you deep personal instruction, and it is not for anyone else but you.

Wow. It was evident God wanted me to hear this today. I want to pray without ceasing, but not just so God will answer my prayers the exact way I want them answered. I want His Will and I want clarity, but when I pray, I want to in order to become more intimate with Him. That is why I know I have been selfish and greedy. I am so thankful God speaks truth into our lives. He is not against us.

an anxious heart.

Lately our lives have been crazy. Everything is up in the air right now. It probably has been one of the hardest times of my life. God promises there will be trials and tribulation, but we will grow through them. When you are actually faced with it, wow, it's a lot harder to deal with. I know all of the answers; I know how I'm supposed to react to them. I want to fully trust God, I want to have faith that He will provide, I want to live everyday without worrying, I want to trust that everything will be o.k. I'll admit, for about a month, my anxiety has taken over. There are days I'm fine and there are more days my stomach hurts thinking about everything.

Why do I think that if I try to plan before we have answers that it will make me feel better? It won't. Wednesday night I finally hit rock bottom with my anxiety. I realized I was completely unhealthy in my thinking. I talked to Scott all about it and we prayed together. The next morning I woke up with a peace that God promises, that I hadn't had before. I wrote down tons of scripture to fill my mind with truth. What a difference it makes to fill my mind with the Word rather than with my crappy thoughts. I am so thankful for a God who is sovereign. I am so thankful for a God who knows whats best for me. I am so thankful for a God who is faithful when I'm not. I am so thankful for a God who never changes. I am so thankful for a God who already has a plan for our lives! I am so thankful for a God who loves me unconditionally. I am so thankful for a God who provided me with a husband who IS and HAS BEEN completely trusting Christ through this hard time and who has encouraged me daily. I am so thankful for a gracious and merciful God.

I am finally thankful for our situation. I have already learned a lot through it. God's promises NEVER fail. Though we don't have a plan yet, He does:) What a beautiful Savior we serve. To God be the glory forever and ever!!

"The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always accuse, nor will he keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to His children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear Him. For He knows how we are formed, He remembers that we are dust." Psalm 103:8