my brothers

I have a very large blended family that consists of 10 people altogether. Of those, 4 of them are my "real" brothers between my mom and dad. Justin, 31, Jesse, 29, Jeremy, 27, and Josh, 25. Growing up I didn't always enjoy having all older brothers. I was the youngest and the only girl, so I was everyone's main target (in my eyes). Even though we fought like crazy and they all made me cry more than once, I would never change growing up with all boys. Now that I am older, I am so appreciative that God has put those 4 boys as my brothers in my life. I would constantly hear, "You are such a brat, Janie!," but I always knew in the end they would protect me know matter what. As I started my teen years, I began hanging around a few of their friends. I don't think they liked that, especially when their friends started liking me. That is when I realized that they did care for me and wanted what was best for me. My relationship with each of them has always been a little different. The mean days were of course when I was young and still the little brat (which I'm sure I was). Because Justin was 8 years older than me, he could tell me something to do and I would do it. One day he locked me out of the house for a whole day. My dad said he came home from work and I was sitting on the porch looking content. Dad asked me what I was doing and I just said, "praying." It's funny I wasn't screaming while banging on the door for him to let me in. I think it's because I was a bit terrified of him because I knew I didn't stand a chance if I tried to fight back. Jessie, 29, has cerebral paulsey. He is precious, but he still has his bratty moments and I'm still his little sister. Because he had a mentality of an 8 year old, we played together often and fought often. My brothers and I still would always stick up for him if other people were making fun of him or making rude comments. We were the only ones that could be mad at him or mean to him because he was our brother, not theirs. My brother Jeremy, 27, is the chic magnet of the boys. Don't get my wrong, all my brothers are extremely handsome, but for some reason he has always been the one girls were drawn too, yet didn't give a hoot. I became very popular when I got to high school because so many girls crushed on my brothers and wanted to be my friend. Yeah, they totally used me. Jerks. I thought they really wanted to be my friend at the time. I even had girls ask me about Justin still and he had been out of high school for years! Anyways, girls would tell me Jeremy looked like Brad Pitt and they liked that he was such a "mystery." He's dated a bit, but has always been pretty independent. For some reason, Jeremy and I hated each other when we were younger and did NOT get along. He was always the most mean to me. We would argue about the most ridiculous things. It started getting a little better in high school and he realized I wasn't such a little girl anymore. Then there is my brother Josh, 25. He and I always got along the best. I think maybe we got along so well is because he was the closest in age to me than any of the others. He tells me now he always felt like he needed to look out for me. Believe me, there were still times when we did not get along. How things have changed since we are all older: Justin and Josh are married, Jeremy and Jesse live in an apartment together, and I'm getting married this summer. The more I think about my brothers and our lives growing up, the more thankful I am for them. We didn't have the easiest life growing up, but it was all we knew. Our parents divorced when I was 1 year old. They still did a great job raising us. Dad didn't remarry until 10 years later. During that time, we switched houses between my mom's and dad's every other day and every other weekend. Mom remarried, so she had some help and moms are naturally better at multi tasking. Dad raised us by himself. 5 kids! We ate lots of frozen and canned foods at his house, but he still did an amazing job raising us;) We all got to the age, eventually, when we chose who we wanted to stay with what night. People cannot believe when I tell them we saw both parents every other day. They always ask, "Was that hard?" It was all we knew. I think it was a blessing we were able to see both parents, but annoying leaving clothes at both places (for me especially trying to live like a girl under a man household:)) Anyways, now that we are older, age doesn't matter. I love talking to each one of them on the phone just about life. Josh and his wife, Chrissy, just had a baby a month ago (Elijah). I cannot believe how obsessed and in love Jeremy and Justin are with their little nephew. Jeremy finally got facebook and stole Chrissy's album of Elijah and put it on his own facebook...he's obviously new to the fb world;) He described the album in a few sentences that he never really knew how much he could love his nephew. He said he was excited for Josh and Chrissy when he found out she was pregnant, but now that Jeremy has held him in his arms, Elijah has him wrapped around his finger. Chrissy said he kept commenting on how beautiful his eyes, nose and lips were. Not the Jeremy I knew 10 years ago:) Justin called me yesterday to see if I saw the picture of Amie, his wife, holding Elijah while Elijah is staring at Amie with his eyes opened so wide and focused. He comments on lots of pictures of Elijah of how precious and beautiful he is. I love that about my brothers...they are not scared to show who they are. I cannot believe Josh is a dad. He is going to be the best father. He reminds me a lot of my own father: kind, animated, gracious but disciplines, and one of the most Godly men I now know. He has such a gift for teaching God's Word too. Wow. When my mom told Jesse Chrissy was going to have a baby, Jesse said, "aww, is he cute." I love that story. Jesse held him with the biggest grin on his face and said, "I'm Uncle Jesse, like on Full House." Even Jesse is so in love with his nephew. My four brothers have such beautiful hearts and have all blessed me in such different, but wonderful ways. I am so thankful that we are family and that we will only become closer as we get older. I love you Hayward boys.

pros and cons of growing up...

There are so many great things about growing up, but there are a lot of lame things as well. I am excited to be somewhat grown up so I can get married this summer, I don't live with my parents anymore, I make my own decisions, I make real money as opposed to $100 paychecks, I am legal for most things besides renting a car (age 25), I get to start my own family soon and have my own house to decorate, I have learned how to cook, I get to use a credit card, we aren't forced to eat certain food (veggies), etc.

I think there may be more negatives to growing up. More responsibilities naturally come..boo!! We have to pay bills, clean our house, make sooooooo many decisions, work EVERYDAY, no spring break, no summers off (unless you're a teacher), no more using parents money, paying for the unexpected (car dies completely), etc.

If I had to choose to be 10 years old all my life or 23 all my life, I would definitely still want to be 23 even though there are so many more responsibilities. The best thing to me about growing up is being able to get married to the most wonderful and handsome man in the world and being with him for the rest of my life:) Thank you Jesus for marriage.